Jennifer’s Body Review

Jennifer’s Body Review

If you want someone to jump on the, “Oh my God Megan Fox is so hot!” Bandwagon then stop right here, being semi-hot can’t, as much as Hollywood would like to differ, carry you through an acting career in anything except x-rated movies.

Those of you looking for something with the wit or originality of Juno are likely to be highly disappointed at what seems like a half hearted horror comedy. At least that’s what it claims to be, although it doesn’t offer us, as the audience, enough of laughs or scares in my opinion to warrant it be called anything other than tripe.
The film is quite simply weak. This may not be down to a bad script, poor acting and bad directing, it just doesn’t seem like a good movie on paper. A teenage hottie (Fox) is sacrificed to Satan by a Satanic rock band, only she becomes possessed instead of dying because she’s not a virgin then proceeds to wreak cannibalistic havoc on the male population of her hometown until she is killed by her best friend.

The film opens with the line, “Hell is a teenage girl.” This is about as witty as the film gets. This is not however, without irony. Fox, supposedly playing a teenager, seems highly out of place throughout the film. It’s ridiculous how much older she looks than the rest of her fellow class mates. Whether it’s her boobs, or her manly jaw line, placing the main role of the movie on someone like Fox was a bad call.
As far as casting goes however, Fox wasn’t the only bad call. The satanic rock band aren’t very satanic at all. I was highly disappointed when they turned out to be what looks like Snow Patrol with too much eye liner. I can’t help but feel that if the band were cast more along the lines of Emperor the film could have been slightly more entertaining. Saying that however, the music is by far the best bit of the film. Stay home and buy the soundtrack. You’ll thank me later.


With Fox and the band down, that leaves the success of the film resting on the shoulders of supporting actress Amanda Seyfried. Although she pulls off crazy with a strange hotness, the nerdy girl seems to be lacking something. Although she’s nowhere on par with her other performances in Solstice and Mean Girls, it’s not entirely bad, which is more than can be said for Fox. And, at least she has those other performances to give her some hope. Compare this to Fox’s other films like Transformers and… Well… Yeah. I think it’s clear which of these two leading ladies has more talent.
The terrible, terrible dialogue is what lets this film down even more than bad casting and Fox’s lack of acting talent. The so called “witty” banter seems somewhat ridiculous with words like, “Salty” being thrown around, does anyone even use words like those? I thought youth culture today liked making up words not taking words and completely destroying meanings. It’s not just stupid word. You know its bad when pop culture references would seem more at home when uttered by Frodo Baggins. Two of the worst lines in the film, although its hard to tell whether they would be better spoken by someone with acting talent or whether it was the rest of the film letting them down are, “It says it on their wikipedia.” Which a girl says whilst having an argument with an eye witness at what the satanic band were doing when the bar was on fire. And, “I found it online,” Spoken by one of the band members in regards to the Ritual Sacrifice they were about to perform. Oh online jokes, I forgot they were supposed to be funny. Probably because I don’t have a sense of humour, or maybe because they’ve been severely abused.
The cinematography isn’t all bad, the costume wants to rely more on boobs and bodies than relevance to the film and the broody teenagers get boring quick. Stay home and watch High School Musical, it’s scarier and more hilarious than Jennifer’s Body will ever be.